Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
