its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
