i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
