I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my being single is dangerous.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
