yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
