I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
