I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize