I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
