Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Mom said you looked used
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
