glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
