girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize