I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
