I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
