remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
