Quick, to the slutcave!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
