16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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