Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
