Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
