Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
