I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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