How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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