I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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