i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
