Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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