so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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