My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
