Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
