we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
