Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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