u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
