were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
