I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
