I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
