Got a toothbrush?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
