I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
