And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
