This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
