dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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