just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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