Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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