You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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