So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
