i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
