Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
