is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
