He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My feet surprised me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
