I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
