Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize