the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
