I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
