is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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