I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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