i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
