I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
