I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
