I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
