well you can't waste a boner
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How's work?
Spinning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
