I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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