My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
