a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
