you guys were way drunker than both of me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
