So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I will pee on everything he values.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
