I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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