at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Operation Purity has been aborted
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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